Paul tells us not to be like little children in our understanding being tossed back and forth by every doctrine and teaching that is out there, but rather we need to be, “Speaking the truth in love.” (Ephesians 4:15a)

The kindest thing we can do is to tell people the truth, which is the sign of a true friend. A true friend will tell us when you have something stuck between our teeth, or they’ll tell us the truth before we make a dumb mistake.

If they don’t tell us, then they aren’t a true friend. Jeremiah calls them deceivers, and their tongues are like deadly arrows (Jeremiah 9:5, 8).

But at the same time, a true friend will also tell us about the truth with love in their hearts, rather than with a spirit of religiosity.

But then comes the real unfortunate part, and that is, a lot of us don’t want to hear the truth because it’s so painful. But when we go to a doctor the last thing we want is for a doctor to sing, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” If we’re sick, we want the doctor to tell us what’s wrong, and how you can get well.

And so, Paul doesn’t just tell us to speak the truth, but to speak it in love. Showing kindness isn’t only in what we say, but also in how we say it. So, before we speak, let’s check our motives.

  • Are we correcting others to put them down, or to build them up?
  • Are we correcting others for their benefit, or ours?
  • Are we correcting others to condemn, or to protect?
  • And, are we correcting others to get in another jab, or to put soothing salve on the problem?

In the Amplified version of the Bible this verse reads, “Rather, let our lives lovingly express truth in all things, speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly.” (Ephesians 4:15a)

What Paul is literally saying is that we need to be “truthing in love.”

Not only are we to speak the truth, but we are to do the truth as well. Our lives need to be lived truthfully.

Truth and love need to be working hand in hand for us to be effective for God’s kingdom purposes.

Dennis Lee is the senior pastor of Living Waters Fellowship located at 211 West 1st South, behind ACE Hardware.

Sunday morning service begins at 10 a.m. either in-person or on-line. All services and teachings, including Sunday 6 p.m. service, are available on our YouTube Channel, “Mesquite NV Living Waters Fellowship.”

This Sunday Morning, we’ll be looking at the book of Habakkuk and how “The Just Shall Live by Faith.”

To find more about Living Waters Fellowship visit, “

8 thoughts on “Truthing In Love

  1. I completely agree with this. I think sometimes we forget when the apostles told the truth in love how offended the people got. Some received their messages in love and turned and received Jesus but many mocked, beat, stoned and crucified the apostles because they didn’t like their message of truth and love. They rejected the truth for a lie. I believe sometimes we forget this as Christian’s. We think sometimes if they don’t believe it’s because of something we did. I’m sorry but many have to make that choice for themselves. We know that before our lives were manageable in Christ they were unmanageable and that God didn’t wait for us to get it together but came to us while yet still in sin. I know personally that it wasn’t the kind loving Christians that got me to turn but a very stern Angel who told me God didn’t like what I was doing and told me stop. I didn’t like what he said or how he said it but I was drawn to him and because of many other things he said I knew I was in a godly presence. Then I had two more godly encounters. So some you save with love and others with fear. We have all walks of life and what works for one doesn’t work for another so we hope that God gives us the tools and the words at the time that we need them. ❤️ Jude 1:23 Romans 11:13-15 I have to be honest but I kind of miss my hell fire preacher I grew up with. I believe the people need a little hell fire preaching these days. Kids today can’t deal with anything that makes them feel uncomfortable and many adults too. We have become a bubble safe society. To worried that people will leave the Church of won’t be our friends anymore. We have to be about God’s business no matter who it offends. 🙏❤️🧎‍♀️Just my two cents. God Bless❤️🙏

    1. Melissa,

      Thank you for your “two cents,” but I have a feeling it was more like a dime’s worth. They say truth without love is too hard, while love without truth is too soft. But both together is just right, and it is God’s way.

      Thanks again and God bless


    1. Linda,

      Thank you, and I am looking forward to what the Lord will do.

      Take care and God bless

  2. I am reminded of Galatians 6:1, “Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.” This is another reminder to me that not only are we to speak the truth in love in a spirit of gentleness, but we need to seek our own hearts before God first and see if there is anything He needs to deal with in our own lives. Once that has taken place and our own hearts are pure before God, then we can speak into others lives as we seek God for His will and timing.

    1. Thank you Debbie,

      You bring up another interesting angle to this idea and that is looking at ourselves and our lives before we ever begin to speak into the lives of anyone else. Jesus said it like this, “Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:5)

      Take care and God bless

  3. Pastor Dennis,
    Thank you for this message. I know that it is better to tell the TRUTH in Love and that one always have to check our motives like you said before we dare say something. Are you being lead by the Spirit when speaking or is this the flesh saying something that may hurt the person you are speaking to. Good intentions always seems to be the reason vs speaking as the Spirit leads us in Love as we speak truth

    1. Thanks for the great insight.

      While we may have good intentions, if not directed by the Holy Spirit, they can and usually come out wrong.

      Take care and say hello to Barb for me.

      Take care my friend


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